New Status!
by RedAsARose
Summary: It's time for the rangers' annual Independence Day barbeque, and per usual, there were many comedic, amusing, and often times disastrous occurrences. A few of them may even be worthy of a Facebook status. ...a collection of related one-shots...
1. Ethan

**Author's note: This story is a continuation of my story Left Out. It takes place 5 years after the first story. So far, you don't need to have read Left Out to understand this, but eventually there will be a reference to it, so you may need to read it :)  
**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

"_I got tired of waiting…wondering if you were ever coming around…my faith in you was…fading…"_

Tommy Oliver leaned an elbow on the windowsill of his jeep and all but pounded the back of his knuckles into his forehead. "Connor," he said as calmly as he could muster. "You've made your point, I turned off the CD, so Please. Stop. Singing!"

Connor only grinned at his former teacher in the rear view mirror as he turned up the volume on his iPod so Tommy could hear it. "_When I met you on the outskirts of town…"_

"_And I said…"_

The car suddenly jerked to the right as Tommy sharply snapped his head to glare at the person in the passenger seat who had just begun to also sing. "Kimberly. Ann. Oliver." He said through gritted teeth as Connor continued his a-ca-pella solo in the background. "Do _not _encourage the Justin Timberlake wannabe."

"Oh hush," Kimberly said, waving a dismissive hand at her husband. "This is the best part."

As one, she and Connor threw their heads back and belted the final chorus. "_MARRY ME JULIET, YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO BE ALONE! I LOVE YOU AND THAT'S ALL I REALLY KNOW!"_

Suddenly, Connor leaned forward to gesture to Kimberly while Tommy attempted to swat him away. "_I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress!"_

"_It's a love story," _Kimberly sang back to him. "_Baby just say…"_

"_Yes!" _they finished together, and Tommy's moans replaced the sound of the purposeful—and purposefully dreadful—off-key singing.

"You are scarring our son for life," he said dramatically.

"Nah, Sammy's fine," Connor said, reaching over to tickle the six month olds feet. "I think he likes it. Do you like when Uncle Connor sings Taylor Swift to you?" he asked in a baby voice.

"First of all, no, he doesn't," Tommy answered as his son shrieked with laughter. "Second of all, you are _not _'Uncle Connor'."

"What about just Uncle C?" Kimberly said innocently, as if Tommy had asked for suggestions.

"Yeah!" Connor agreed enthusiastically.

"_Third of all,_" Tommy ignored them and spoke louder. "His name is Samuel. Not Sammy. Not Sam. _Samuel._"

"But I _like _Sammy!" Kimberly fake pouted, and Connor put on his best puppy dog face.

"Yeah!" he pretended to whine. "Me too!"

"No." Tommy said firmly. "Sammy is a girl's name."

"Kim is a boy's name," Kimberly pointed out.

"Yeah, _in Japan,_" Tommy countered.

"I thought it was Korean?"

"Shut up Connor!"

"Ooh," Connor pretended to shrink closer to the baby's car seat. "Daddy's angry. Just remember, little buddy…whenever he gets like this, there's a secret lair in your basement. And it locks from _the inside_," he stage whispered to baby Samuel.

"I have a key," Tommy grumbled.

"But by then he'll be out the back door."

"Then he'll spend his night sleeping in a tree."

"You mean, he'll spend the night sleeping in the tree _house_."

"We don't have a tree house."

"Connor gasped and lightly put his hands on either side of Samuel's head, covering his ears. "Blasphemy!" he harshly whispered.

"Where would we even _put _a tree house?" Tommy mumbled as he changed lanes.

"Um, honey?" Kimberly said gently. "We live on the edge of a forest."

"More like you live in the middle of nowhere," Connor muttered. "But don't worry," he adopted the baby voice again as his attention returned to Samuel. "You can come visit Uncle Connor in the big city whenever you want to! Except when I'm not there," he seriously pointed a finger, which the baby reached for. "No wild parties when Uncle C is traveling." Samuel finally grabbed hold of Connor's finger and promptly stuck it in his mouth. "Oh…I can't say no to that face-of course you can have a party! But only if I'm invited."

Kimberly grinned even as Tommy groaned. "Connor, you're going to be a great dad one day."

"Yeah, hopefully soon," he replied absentmindedly as he searched for a tissue to clean the drool off his hand.

"How much longer does she have?"

"Any day now," Connor beamed. "The doctor said he'll give it another two weeks max before he'll induce."

"And how's Krista feeling?"

"Bored," Connor replied honestly. "She _really _had fun at that stay-in girls night you had for her."

"Thank Kira, it was her idea. I just brought the chick flicks."

"Yeah, well, it really made Krista's day. Or month, I guess. She's really not enjoying this whole bed rest thing."

"And I feel for her!" Kimberly said empathetically.

"Thank God!" Tommy randomly exclaimed from the driver's seat.

"Actually, she's Jewish—Whoa!"

The car jerked to the right as Tommy quickly changed lanes again. Samuel squealed with excitement from the backseat. "I draw the line at talking about pregnancy!" he said, turning on the turn signal with more force than was necessary. "Hey look, we're here."

"Hel-lo Angel Grove!" Kimberly said excitedly and wiggled her butt in her seat as they pulled onto the exit ramp.

"Hello huge picture of Dr. O in spandex!" Connor added, craning his neck to get a better look at the white ranger welcome billboard as they drove past. "How come _you _get your own welcome sign?"

"Ooh look-there's mine!" Kimberly pointed as she rolled down her window. "And Trini's!"

"How come Reefside doesn't have these?" Connor asked.

"Because you've never stood still long enough for them to take a picture," Tommy grumbled before adding thoughtfully, "And Reefside doesn't have any billboards."

"Hmm," Connor said in a way that instantly had Tommy suspicious. "It doesn't need to be a billboard…just another large welcome sign…"

"Oh hey-here's Jason's neighborhood!"

"Agh!" Connor and Kimberly both shrieked—though the former tried concealing it as a sneeze—as Tommy took a sharp right turn. Samuel flapped his arms and laughed.

Kimberly looked worriedly over her shoulder. "He truly is his father's son," she muttered darkly when she saw her baby was fine.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, just that you both seem to enjoy really fast car rides and adrenaline rushes."

"There's nothing wrong with living on adrenaline."

"Tommy, what would _you _do if one day Samuel comes home from high school and announces he's formed a sky-diving club?"

"First of all, I work at the high school and I have an in with the principal, so that's not going to happen. Second of all, that was a _great _club. I can't believe Angel Grove High discontinued it."

"Oh yeah," Kimberly scoffed. "Because teenagers jumping out of an airplane is a _wonderful _idea."

"You weren't rolling your eyes when you were back-flipping out of that thing."

"You did a _back-flip _out of an _airplane_?" Connor gasped at the original pink ranger. "Dude, your wife is _awesome_!" he lightly hit Tommy on the arm.

"First of all, don't call me dude. Second, stay away from my wife. And my kid while we're at it."

"Speaking of that," Kimberly said casually. "I found a baby-sitter for next month for David's wedding."

"That's good. Who is it?"

Connor giddily leaned forward and smiled broadly at Tommy. "Hi!"

"_You? Him? _No, absolutely not. I don't want him infecting my son's mind like he's infected yours." He jerked a thumb at Kimberly as he turned down Jason's street.

"I am not _infected_," Kimberly rolled her eyes. "You're the only one who can't stand Connor, and that's because he purposefully provokes you. Besides, Sammy loves him."

"He'll have a kid of his own by then, too," Tommy pointed out.

"And Krista's agreed to help!" Kimberly replied cheerfully. "And Kira! And Hayley said she'll drop by on her way to Angel Grove on Saturday."

"Joy," Tommy muttered, parking on the street behind a blue SUV he recognized as Rocky's.

"It upsets me and Sammy when you guys are mad at each other," Connor said sadly as he got out of the car.

"I'm not mad." Tommy snapped, unbuckling the car seat.

Connor and Kimberly shared a knowing look at Trent's car pulled in behind them and Trent, Kira, Ethan, and Hayley climbed out.

"Uh-oh," Hayley said quietly as Tommy merely nodded at them. "Connor, what did you do?"

"_I _didn't do anything," he said pointedly before leaning in and whispering in mock horror to them, "Mother and father are fighting again."

"Shut up or you're grounded," Tommy threatened as they made their way towards the front door.

"Dear, I thought we agreed that we weren't ever going to tell our children to shut up," Kimberly said reasonably.

"Connor is not our child!" Tommy exclaimed.

Connor suddenly gasped and clutched a hand to his chest. "_I'm adopted_?"

"Now look what you've done," Kimberly winked at Connor behind her husband's back.

As the married couple continued their teasing banter—at least on Kimberly's end it was teasing—Connor looked at the three younger rangers and their technician as if to say "I told you so." The five of them cackled with laughter as Ethan pulled out his phone and selected the Facebook application.

"That conversation is totally going to be my new status!"

* * *

_**Ethan James**_:  
**_Connor McKnight: _**"Mother and father are fighting…"  
**_Tommy Oliver: _**"Shut up or you're grounded!"  
**_Kimberly Oliver (Kimberly Hart): _**"Dear, don't tell our children to shut up."  
Tommy: "Connor is not our child!"  
Connor: *gasps in horror* "I'M ADOPTED?"

**_Kira Ford-Fernandez, Hayley Ziktor, _and_ 17 others _like this.**

**_Jason Scott_ commented:** What a harsh way to drop that bomb on ur kid, bro  
**_Connor McKnight _commented:** I feel as tho you've failed me dad…


	2. TJ

"Hello Dino Thunder!" Jason boomed when he opened his front door after being summoned by the bell.

"A little louder, Jase," Rocky said from behind the original red ranger. "I don't think Nevada heard you."

"Funny," Jason replied as he greeted the newest arrival of guests to his abode. Rocky began instructing them where to put the plate of food they were each carrying. "Ah, my young protege," Jason said when Conner crossed the threshold carrying a plate of brownies wrapped in tin foil. "Where's the girlfriend?"

"Bed rest."

"Fun," Rocky said dryly before turning to Kimberly, who was in the process of apparently strangling Jason. "Hi Kim!"

"Rocky!" She also threw her arms around his neck in a crushing hug, despite her small build.

"Hi!" Rocky gasped. "How are you?-Ow.-Can't breathe."

Kimberly stepped back, smiling widely at him. "Sorry. Where are the girls?"

"Upstairs," Jason provided. "There's a lot of oohing and aahing coming from Cara's room. It's gross," he attempted to scrunch his face in disgust, but it still didn't hide his huge cheesy grin.

"Aww!" Kimberly gushed, handing Tommy the diaper bag. "Look at the new daddy blush with pride over his baby!"

"I'm not a _new _daddy. And I am not blushing!" Jason replied defensively. Rocky and Conner both nodded sadly at him. "Shut up, subordinates," he muttered as Kimberly blew them a friendly kiss before darting up the stairs.

"If we really were subordinates," Conner said conversationally as the four of them made their way to the kitchen. "Then we would be taking orders from you, and none of us have ever done that."

"I have," Tommy said darkly.

"Doesn't count," Conner said shortly. "You were evil half the time. Anyway, we're also all reds, so we're equals. But your sense of superiority stems from you being the first red."

'Stems?' Jason mouthed to Tommy, who shrugged as best he could whilst carrying both the diaper bag and baby seat. He gratefully handed over the baby seat when Jason offered a hand to take something for him.

"Therefore, as we're equal but you're original, we are not subordinates. If anything, we're inferior," Conner concluded logically.

Rocky lightly punched him. "That's exactly the sort of thing we _don't _say out loud in front of Jason."

"Inferior..." the mentioned leader said thoughtfully as they entered the kitchen. "I like it. You're all my inferiors..."

"Why's that?" Adam asked from the kitchen table, before adding, "Hey Tommy."

"Hey, how's it going, man?" Tommy replied, and Kira and Hayley instantly started mocking how cool the guys always greeted each other, even though they sometimes hadn't seen each other for a year.

"Because," Jason answered Adam. "Not only was I the first red, I was also the first ranger. Now you may all fall into line behind me," he said dramatically.

"Yes, you are," Rocky said soothingly, as if it were an unfortunate curse.

"Zip it, ape man."

As Jason used his free hand that wasn't rocking Samuel's baby seat to point accusingly at Rocky, the sliding door leading to the backyard opened and TJ stepped through backwards with a little boy dangling off his shoulders. "And if you chase him up the tree _one more time_," he yelled threateningly to a group of kids in the yard. "Uncle Jason is going to come out here and _eat_ you!" This announcement was met with excited screams, which were muffled when TJ closed the door behind him. When he turned and was facing the rest of the room, he began hopping from foot to foot. "Oh no," he said in mock horror. "One of the little monkeys got me! Get him off! Get him off!"

"I'll get him," Jason said evilly, and the boy screamed through the chocolatey grin that was still plastered on his face. "Nom, nom, nom! Hmm...tastes like chicken..."

"You can take him, Tyler!" Zack encouraged from across the kitchen. Remember to jab!"

"Hey, TJ," Adam called. "Watch out for his-."

"Ow!"

"...right hook," Adam finished as TJ clutched his jaw.

"Agh. Okay," he said weakly as Jason hurriedly peeled a giggling Tyler off his back and the rest of the kitchen howled with laughter. "Note to self...don't pick a fight with the kid of a Dojo owner..."

"Whoops," Tyler Park muttered. "Sorry Uncle Teeje..."

"It's fine, kiddo," TJ said, forcing a smile. "Did your mom teach you that one?" Although the question was directed at the three year old, TJ was looking at Adam. Adam nodded, then added an exasperated eye roll.

"Yep!" Tyler said excitedly. The adults looked on amusedly as he randomly squatted in the middle of the kitchen. "It's because Imma frog!" He began to hop out of the kitchen and into the front hallway as the former rangers laughed again, but this time at a redding Adam. "Ribbit, ribbit!"

"I'm going to be getting some interesting calls from his teachers when he starts preschool next month," Adam muttered as Zack doubled over with laughter next to him. Adam jabbed him. "This is _your _fault you know! You _had _to leave for that damn conference _before_ we got the animal spirits."

"You're-welcome!" Zack gasped, then also squatted in imitation to Adam's son. "Looky daddy-Imma froggie!"

"We are a proud amphibian," Adam said with less enthusiasm. He suddenly smiled as TJ pulled out his phone and began conspicuously video recording Zack's charades.

"What do you think?" he muttered to Conner. "Post this on YouTube?"

"Nah," Conner replied giddily. "No one might ever see it...put it on Facebook and tag him in it!"

"Great idea, kid," TJ said, and despite knowing him for years, Conner beamed at his predecessor. "Time for a new status!"

* * *

_**TJ Johnson:****  
**_Hey friends, remember when I almost got my teeth knocked out by a 3 year old? Yeah, me neither...because right after, THIS happened! (see video below)

**_Connor McKnight, Adam Park, _and _14 others _like this.**

**_Jason Scott_ commented:** inferior.  
**_Carter Grayson_ commented:** Make sure he's still drunk when we get there  
**_Rocky DeSantos_ commented:** I've witnessed Zack drunk. Trust me, THIS isn't Zack drunk.  
**_TJ Johnson_ commented:** _Carter Grayson_ (and PRLR) No promises...he may hop away before that. How long until you get here?  
**_Carter Grayson_ commented:** LOL! We're about 2 hours out...can't wait to see you all!  
**_Kelsey Winslow_ commented:** Carter! HANDS ON THE WHEEL!


	3. Trini

"KIMMY!"

"Aisha!"

"Kim!"

"TRINI!"

"Hi Kim!"

"Hey Cassie!"

"Hey girl!"

"Tanya!"

"Hi Kim!"

"Kat! You look…" Kimberly stepped back from hugging Kat and looked her up and down. "Amazing. You had a _baby _four _weeks_ ago…" she added incredulously. "You look awesome, girl!"

"Back at you, pinky," Kat said.

"Ballerina," Aisha said idly.

"Gymnast," Cassie added.

"Tao Kwan Do," Trini said, casually inspecting her fingernails. "I did Tao Kwan Do and even I never lost the baby weight as fast as you two."

"I led dance classes four times a week," Tanya added.

"Alright, alright," Kimberly said, laughing with everyone else. "So where's my baby—awww!" her voice raised a few pitches and she started talking in a baby voice when she saw baby Cara Scott. "Look at her little pterodactyl t-shirt!"

"Yeah, she's already spit up on the T-rex shirt. Don't tell Jason."

"Spit up on it, huh?" Cassie asked suspiciously, picking up a tiny red t-shirt from the changing table between two fingers. It was covered in a bright orange stain. "What _exactly_ are you feeding your children?"

"Oh, you know," Kat said innocently. "Orange soda."

The room of women erupted with laughter.

"You spilled Fanta on Jason's shirt?" Aisha asked.

"Um, no, the baby spit up on it," Kat repeated as if it were obvious.

As the laughter continued, Tanya turned to the recently arrived Kimberly. "So, Kimmy, who's your pick to go all the way in the NBA this season?"

"Aww," Kimberly complained. "We're doing this again?"

"Honey," Aisha said patronizingly. "We can't do this with the guys, so we need girls to do it with. You don't have to care, just pick a team and we can have some friendly competition every few weeks."

"Remind me again why we can't do this with the guys…" Kimberly grumbled.

"Because they don't take us seriously," Tanya supplied.

"Because they don't like when our team wins," Kat added.

"Because they don't like when we get competitive," Cassie said.

"Because they're in denial when we know more about a sport than they do," Ashley added.

"Because they don't like when we use math to figure out probability and odds and then our teams do better than theirs," Trini spoke up.

"Alright, alright," Kimberly said, laughing with them. "So we have our own betting pool because the boys, well, suck."

"So…Kimmy…" Tanya repeated after the laughter died down again. "Who's your team this season?"

"Um, alright," Kimberly said, bringing her eyebrows together in deep concentration. "The…Packers?"

"Wrong sport," Tanya said cheerfully.

"Ah, Yankees?"

"Wrong again! And you're moving east. Think west coast."

"Fighting Irish?"

"You're getting colder." Aisha deadpanned. "_Much_ colder."

"The LA…" Aisha prompted.

"…Galaxy?"

"Seriously?" Cassie asked incredulously. "We say pick a basketball team in L.A. and you name a soccer club?"

"Oh shut up. What about…The…Heat?"

Ashley did a little dance from the rocking chair. "Ding, ding, ding!"

Kimberly perked up in her chair. "Really? Yes! Put me down for the…Heat…The Miami Heat…" she trailed off. "Hey…I lived in Florida. The Heat are from Miami!" She turned to Aisha and Tanya. "They're not in L.A.! Or west. Unless you're in Africa…"

"And all they've got there are soccer teams," Cassie said to no one in particular.

"I was trying to get you to go for the Lakers," Aisha said, shaking her head as if she was disappointed. "It's a family tradition. Don't know why, as we _are_ from Africa. Where we also play _cricket_, thank you very much!" she added with faux loftiness to Cassie.

"Good to know," Kimberly said with mock seriousness. "So Ashley," she turned to the former yellow ranger. "I didn't know you like basketball."

"I don't," she replied happily. "And I'm not even from a foreign country, I'm from a foreign _planet_."

"Sure, rub it in some more, alien girl," Kim said, though she laughed with everyone else.

"Just kidding," Ashley said, moving to cautiously stand up. "We've had this conversation every time someone else got here, you're the fourth one. And for your troubles," she gingerly moved to pass off Cara. "You get a baby."

"Ooh yay," Kim said quietly as she cradled the small bundle. "Hi little baby Cara. Remind me and next weekend we'll go shopping and Aunt Kimmy will get you matching high tops for that adorable shirt."

"They make baby-sized high tops with pterodactyls on them?"

"No, they make _pink_ baby-sized high tops that _sparkle_. And the best part is," she added to Cara, switching effortlessly to baby voice. "You don't have any sisters so you can wear them all ya want."

"Mom!" a voice came from just down the hallway.

"Now there's something I haven't heard in ten years," Trini muttered. "My son whining for me…it's kind of refreshing…"

"Mom…" Joseph Cranston said again as he came in the room. "Can we go now?"

"Joey, we just got here," Trini said sympathetically. "Cope."

"But mom…" he tried whining again.

"No." Trini said firmly. "She's a girl. Get used to them. They make up fifty-one percent of the world's homo sapiens population."

Kim leaned closer to Cassie. "Angel is still following him around, huh?"

"Like a puppy dog," Cassie confirmed. "So, Joe," she said, switching gears and addressing Joseph. "Who's your take to be NBA Champions this year?"

Joseph blinked at her. "NB-what? Oh, basketball. I'm going to go with the Clippers this year."

"This year?" Tanya commented. "We let boys in the pot now? Wait, we've let boys in the pot before?"

"Who do you think invented the pot?" Cassie said. "The guys won't let poor Joseph in their betting pool anymore. Poor baby." Joseph rolled his eyes again as he allowed Cassie to hug him.

Trini made a face at him as if to say 'That's what you get for cheating.'

"Right, so," Joseph said, finally managing to pull away. "Who did everyone else pick?"

"Kim just took the Heat," Aisha supplied. "Tanya has the Bulls, Cassie guesses the Nets, Kat doesn't care so we gave her the Wizards."

"Ouch," Joseph commented.

"Ashley gets the 76ers, your mom wants the Magic, and what are you again?

"LA Clippers," he provided.

"Right. And me, as long as my Lakers do okay, I'm happy," Aisha finished.

"May the odds be ever in your favor," Joseph replied dryly, sending the room into laughter as he rolled his eyes and stalked out in a way that only a twelve year-old could.

Trini pulled her phone out of her pocket as Ashley looked on. "What are you doing?"

Through her laughter, Trini said, "My kids are the inspiration for most of my Facebook statuses!"

* * *

**Trini Cranston:**

My 9 year-old is talking about the odds of The Lakers winning the championship next season, and instead of quoting a math book on statistics, he quotes Effie Trinket.

_Tanya Sloan-Park_, _Aisha DeSantos_, **and** _14 others_ **like this**

_Tanya_ _Sloan_-_Park_ **commented**: Joseph truly IS a genius ;-)  
_Rocky DeSantos_ **commented**: May the odds be ever in Kobe's favor.  
_Adam Park_ **commented**: Kobe's a douche.  
_Rocky DeSantos_ **commented**: You're a douche.  
_Adam_ _Park_ **commented**: says ape man  
_Rocky DeSantos_ **commented**: zip it frog boy  
_Trini_ _Cranston_ **commented**: Not on my status, boys  
_Tanya_ _Sloan_-_Park_ **commented**: welcome to MY life  
_Aisha_ _DeSantos_ **commented**: Amen, cuz.  
_TJ Johnson_ **commented**: Tanya, are you aware your husband has taught your son how to hop like a frog?  
_Tanya_ _Sloan_-_Park_ **commented**: actually he picked up on the frog thing himself…


End file.
